Is my essay good for a college application?

answers1: thats so great ! i wish you all the best for your
applications and sucuess in photography!
answers2: ::Every person wants to achieve their highest potential and
accomplish their goals. With hard work, practice, and optimism,
anything you desire to do is possible. That is why I want to pursue an
undergraduate study in the visual arts. I want to achieve my highest
potential and improve my skills in photography. After I spend my time
studying and reach my goal, I will be able to do whatever my heart
desires. That is what is most important to me. <br>
Growing up, everyone always told me I was bound to be a veterinarian.
I did have a passion for animals, but there was something else. I was
also interested in the visual arts. I liked to draw and take pictures,
but those were a lot different from being a veterinarian. Two
different interests and I did not know which one I was going to
choose. Which one would make me happier? I did not decide right away;
I decided just to let it come in its own time and it did.:: <br>
<br>
This feels out of place. I would personally like to see it begin in
medias res. Once you get to the part about taking photos of your
dogs, I am enthralled by your story. The first two paragraphs seems
to be stalling as you approach the true story. Somehow start in the
middle of the action. <br>
<br>
Great start, though. <br>
<br>
Try telling a bit of the story - maybe walking with your dogs,
describing what you see (artist's eye) <br>
<br>
Then explain the veterinary confusion and the 'what makes me happy' deal. <br>
<br>
Go back to the story. <br>
<br>
Describe the resolution. <br>
<br>
Conclude by further explaining your future goals (current last
paragraph) and tie it together by explaining quickly how this
particular school will help you to be successful.
answers3: Every person wants to achieve their highest potential and
accomplish their goals. With hard work, practice, and optimism,
anything you desire to do is possible. <br>
<br>
I think your punctuation is wrong in this sentence i think it should
read like this: <br>
<br>
Every person wants to achieve their highest potential and accomplish
their goals. With hard work, practice and optimism anything you desire
to do is possible